Then things took a sensational turn when the pastor accused his wife of chasing him around with a knife. You say you told your partner that it's over and then stopped talking to them. Regardless of your decision to stay in your relationship or to go, we are here to support you on your path to recovery. It sends a clear message that you wont be accepting anymore abuse from them. People talk about ghosting like it's easy but in my experience it hurts just as much knowing you're ignoring the person you love. Fear has a way of taking control away. But when you consider that our relationships are the source of our most rewarding experiences (and our most painful experiences), it makes a lot of sense to try to fix problems rather than let them fester. It tells them they are insignificant to you. Bottom lineIf she is changing her normal routine to be around you less, it is a serious red flag she might be cheating on you. If a man cannot love a woman who cheats, he might want to consider getting a parakeet instead of a wife. Maybe shes having a tough time picturing you as the father to her future kids. Just catfished and found out that yes, Im about to marry My (32m) wife (33f) cheated 3 years ago when we were engaged, Finally Stood Up For Myself (32/M) to Fianc (30/F). Thats pretty sad news! Ghosting someone shows them that you wont be lured in by the gaslighting and blame shifting. DEAR DEIDRE: WATCHING my wife flirting with her male colleagues made me sick to my stomach and reminded me she's capable of cheating. My wife has a rep for being very conservative, a real "miss goody 2 shoes." ), we finally had sex one night and later it dawned on me that there were at least two condoms missing from the box. Most people wouldnt think twice about seeing an attorney when they Studies show many cheats occur in the office. I detected there was a "friendship" going on with a man and I told her I was uncomfortable about this. If so, he's divorced with a long-term girlfriend, and I think he was actively pursuing my wife). It ended with each of them saying "I love you." Research shows a woman that is ovulating nearly doubles her fantasies about other men. Chances are she lost her connection with you and is looking to feel attractive and sexy. Perhaps she is protective of them. How Do People Share The News About Their Engagements? Ultimately, professional help is often needed to break out of this self-destructive pattern. female Unless, of course, she decides to leave and marry someone else, which would probably be preferable. The man of God was bust by his wife and X who stepped in for Jub Jub at a small church in Daveyton. Your mind has to process it, and your heart has to filter it; but bear this in mind, he's dead and gone and no longer poses any threat to your marriage. My son couldnt wait to go and had a great time with the other children while I stood around, watching everyone. This is a tough one because you know your gal is always wondering if there is another guy out there thats better for her. Too bad guys believe that, once they are married, there is no more work to do, that their wife will accept them as they are and be faithful forever. female I accept that I was . I wouldnt put it past her to be doing more than flirting with these men if she gets the chance. it took me almost 10 months to get over it. Rating: +67|-30. reader, Roswellvato+, writes (2 November 2008): A i found out that she is having sex with her boss who is only 28 year married man .first i thought this is all in my head this is not possible.but it was true though she never admitted.anyway i made her quit the job.we had strained relations after that.but again all of a sudden she was very loving and caring to me. I have a lawyer with a ferocious trial persona and she'll be filing court orders that my wife pay up on her expenses or get out. Good luck! Lived together 6 yrs . ", Philip continued to say they chose the embryos that "had been waiting the longest.". Putting your energy into making your wife pay for what she has done, is a Ive lost loved ones before so I know what it is to grieve. You need to tread carefully and maybe drum up the guts to ask her why she is putting so much effort into looking hot. Probably not, but keep in mind there are two sides to every story. It was also revealed that her family had disowned her after she allegedly neglected her two children and was accused of stealing their belongings. When your wife craves the emotional excitement of desire and making love to a new partner, she might be stuck in the adventurous honeymoon phase, and this might push her to cheat on you. In other words, its all his fault, and shes got no issues shouting this out loud and clear. If your only advice is 'divorce', 'dump them', 'your SO sucks' or 'grow a backbone' then please don't comment. Oh wow yeah I'm wondering if this will be my outcome. This is a sub for deeper support and discussion. The only way to make a connection with a man is to spend time with him. My trust in my high school sweetheart is gone. And while many people avoid counseling for a lot of different reasonsturning to a trained professional with any complex problem is usually the best way to solve it. She can be very passive, so I think in her mind somehow this guy will "save" her. 2. Its really not that hard of a decision. Get Love Tips Sent Straight To Your Inbox. Per maggiori informazioni sulle modalit di utilizzo dei dati, consulta la nostra Informativa sulla privacy e lInformativa sui cookie. Worry only about yourself and abou those who are worthy of your care. Day 1 of 33: Enter our Advent Quiz and WIN R300 every day! It's a very real possibility that someone may have cheated because they were miserable with the circumstances of the relationship at that time. Gals who dont attend church or synagogue are more than 3 times more likely to cheat on their man than a woman who attends her religious practice at least once a week. This shit is hard but its not supposed to be easy. I ghosted her and it wasnt until a friend of hers saw me at my job years later did she meet up with me again. Still talk to B and C ( to this day me and C are fwb , were both 50 ) C told me last she saw D she was still a depressed mess. I am still angry at my wife for cheating on me. Don't have an account? You will be better off and so will your children. Essentially, shes got a dainty ego that gets smashed easily. Parakeets always stay in their cages and they require less commitment. On top of that, the person who was cheated on will certainly be unhappy with the state of the marriage after the affair occurs. Maybe more? Sign #2 - She Works, Works, Works There's no doubt that working women are much more likely to cheat on their partners than a stay at home mom. But finding Comfort in the arms of a model helps, LOL. I wrote about a friend on here who Ghosted his wife, He told me it was hard for the fist month. She did however say that she wished I was more like him at times. hurts your wife, but it also impacts the quality of your relationship, and the quality of your life as well (see quality of relationship He then mentioned a guy and implied my wife had sex with him during that 2 week period 12 years ago. My wife and I have been happily married for over 30 years, and we have two children now in their 20s. As if Lydia and Timothys births werent special enough, they were also born on Halloween. Often, these homemade covers are just a cover for her cheating on you. Answer (1 of 24): You still love/want the feeling you had while you were with her and the going was good. This is another clear physical factor your woman might be cheating. When you take a second to think about it, it really does make sense. However, if your sex pattern has changed without valid explanation and you havent had it in over a month, you need to think about the faithful factor. Address: Regus Business Centre 1st Floor, Block B, North Park, Black River Park, 2 Fir Street, Observatory, Cape Town, 7925, South Africa Postal: Blue Sky Publications (Pty) Ltd T/A TheSouthAfrican, PO Box 44354, Claremont, 7735, South Africa, United Kingdom Blue Sky Publications Ltd Company Registration Number: 04683692. I am 45 and work in the quality department at a food processing plant. What was the outcome for the person who cheated and for yourself? It's all psychological at the moment. You see him more than you see your hubby. For further details of our complaints policy and to make a complaint please click this link: thesun.co.uk/editorial-complaints/, Im worried my wife is cheating on me with her male colleagues, My daughter got into university - but brother refuses to congratulate her, My partner sent me a text to say she was going to cheat on me, I love my boyfriend but every time we have sex I clam up, My doctor refuses to help me with my mental health problems, Zaya is upset at the way boyfriend Gio treats her, My partner was arranging to see escorts days after our disabled daughter was born, I'm married but I'm crazy about a female friend I have known for years, My husband is unsteady on his feet and refuses to face up to his health problems, I'm devastated my daughter says she cannot attend my 80th birthday party, Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO). Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here. That's not morally wrong. You love someone that cheated on you? DEIDRE SAYS: When your son isnt around, tell her that her flirting unsettles you and ask her to be more considerate. The wife angrily said: You left your children behindyou took money thats meant for bread. We ask that you please read our sub rules before posting. So it all started back in the summer of 2016 my wife was just a few months into her new job. She said no. "I was five years old when God gave life to Lydia and Timothy, and he's been preserving that life ever since.". It meant nothing.. For context, we're both in our mid-40s. Life has taught me that you cant control someones loyalty. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. "We've always thought we'll have as many as God wants to give us, and when we heard about embryo adoption, we though that's something we would like to do. If that's your state of mind, then here are some things to look into when confronting your cheating wife. The . She claimed she had no romantic interest in him (I was unsure this was true), but she offered to break off contact if it bothered me, and confirmed this on her phone, etc. Login first My wife blanked me, but around her male colleagues, she was giggling like a schoolgirl while they focused on her low-cut top. past three years. Reassure her you are crazy happy she is, but make sure she gives you the truth. A Look at the facts here. I think I might try to stay legally married, but we live our own lives, with our own bedrooms, and no relationship beyond a parental partnership. If your wife suddenly starts introducing sex toys or a favorite new position you knew nothing about, you can bet your bottom dollar she is cheating. The ego boost means everything when it comes to figuring out whether your wife is cheating on you. About 6 months ago I was having a casual conversation with the husband of my wife's friend. Too many, it seemed I had it together. I cant be around that person for awhile because lets face it, even the strongest of us are vulnerable. I asked several more questions, pushing more each time, and she gave me the "I love you, but I don't know if I'm in love with you." If you have a wife thats hot, there is no doubt she is going to get hit on again and again. (SOURCE: CNN), Nebraska military wife fights for unemployment after moving overseas with husband, Power Rangers star Jason David Frank dies at 49, Omaha man injured in hunting accident near Platte River, Consumers could pay price if railroads, unions cant agree, Biden opens holidays, pardons turkeys Chocolate and Chip, Bob Dylan publisher sorry for $600 books replica autographs. Why would she want to have any intimacy with her husband when shes getting her booty call with her lover? reader, WiseOwlE+, writes (7 September 2020): A How do I emotionally separate myself from my cheating wife? My (A) story was almost 26 yrs ago. Welcome to Surviving Infidelity. I guess that may be why Ive been able to stick to NC and move forward. This woman wants to break up with her husband, but she doesnt want to hurt his feelings. I wouldnt be able to do it any other way, tbh. I'm glad you were able to see through it and didn't let her overstep your boundaries. It seemed as though my life was spinning out of control. It's going to hurt because I assume it is still fresh, it's like having surgery, you have to allow your body to heal naturally. If she is very careful with her phone and makes sure she grabs it before you get to glance at it, its a sure sign shes got something going on that she doesnt want you to know about. At one point when I confronted her, I mentioned her avoid sex with me because of him, which she insisted was not the case, and doesn't really enjoy sex with him. Subscribe To Our Newsletter! The person you loved did not exist, you saw their true character, you are the cake they can have while eating it to. You're young enough to find someone that will honor and respect you, neither of which your "wife" is doing. Think of these women as the loose cannons that dont really think about the consequences of their immediate actions. 1. It shuts down kibble supply for narcissists and sociopaths. The moment your wife cheated she needed to go, the second she refused to end the affair you needed to go. Dear Abby: My wife and I are in our 60s and have been married more than 40 years. questionnaire). Her solution is to justify her wants, needs. I did this 23 years ago in a previous relationship with my live in boyfriend of 5 years. Its decisive and sends a clear message that theyre no longer an essential person in you life, not worthy of your time and resources. I did this to someone who I was messing with and knew she wasnt girlfriend material (saw her talking with multiple dudes). Make sure your marriage is as good as it can be, so she wont be tempted to jeopardise what you have together. "The Sun", "Sun", "Sun Online" are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. female Shes likely trying to keep it together for the kids, which is super sad. Studies show men and women tend to cheat for very different reasons. Don't have an account? According to fertility resource Progyny, IVF typically creates an excess of fertilized eggs and a couple/individual can choose to cryopreserve them for the future. A former teammate , (b)( high school American football) had a younger sister (C) became friends with ,.She introduced me to her best friend/;girlfriend(d) We hit it off We ended up dating. I am having a real hard time dealing with this for the Don't take her back until she learns from her mistake. When we are hurt, the desire to get even is one of our most basic and universal responses. Its called communication BEFORE you decide to break your marriage vows. C warned me that D was cheating. Be aware. Trust me man.once u get rid of her ass you would feel better.get divorce and concentrate on your children and be happy. Did you know women who are extroverted are the most likely to be hit on by gents? I suspect this is essentially a code phrase for women to rationalize cheating. If you have children, ensure they are not around when you are discussing this with your wife. And I was. My support pack Relationship MOT may give you some new ideas of how to make your bond really strong. If your wife shows a distant, yet aggressive, attitude toward you and her usual routines start to dissipate, you need to consider she might be sleeping around on you. Being made to feel less than sucks. If you are positive you are over, ghosting is a good first step in healing. cheating wife | lying wife | monitoring phone | troubled relationship. The former couple continued to live [] Studies show that women who have a one-year-old child say they are less satisfied with their marital relations. Though she said she'd never would it was shortly after our second child that we had an iud placed to avoid further pregnancies. Thats a scary statistic. When a girl says she isnt happy in her marriage, shes more than five times more likely to cheat on her man than women that say their marriage is happy. Maybe her husband was just going to kill her to preserve his "honor" or maybe it was "for her own good" or to teach her a lesson. we are not young.i m 52 and she is 48.we have three kids 18 yr. 16 and 12. she has been a house wife all her life.last year she told me that she wants to do some job as kids are grown up now.she got one job every thing was good for first three four months than i saw change in her beheveior. I'm trying to stick to my guns with the NC so seeing stuff like this is helpful. Her sister Emma was also born from a 24-year-old frozen embryo. Now, its really not fair to judge, but you do need to consider the proven scientific stats behind this point. She is 41 and works for a . But as time went on with distance the pan grew less and less. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? On the flip side, its the same for men. I'm more hopeful about my future thanI have been for years. The woman who cheats in order to "feel alive again". And constant wondering, Will only mean constant suffering.". If a woman is self-conscious and doesnt believe in herself, she often goes outside of herself to look for validation by other men. reader, Aeval+, writes (24 April 2008): A male We continued to socialize with him and his wife. Just be wary about the people she works with and how much overtime shes putting in. You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page. The long you stay the more you prove to your wife that she can f*ck anyone she pleases and have no consequences. Especially when you remember why it was necessary in the first place. Should you decide to forgive her, she should realize her mistake, regret it and promise never to do it again. A strong marriage is based on love and trust and looking to lift each other up and support one another forever. reader, Ares+, writes (24 April 2008): A Answer (1 of 24): Unfortunately, I think it will always hurt, to one degree or another. For nearly three decades, they were kept in tiny straws in liquid nitrogen at a fertility lab on the west coast. So, if you and your wife have a young child, its important to consider that your wife might be messing around on you. According to the National Embryo Donation Center, the twins were born from the longest-frozen embryos to ever result in a live birth. After having some suspicions something was wrong (noticing a second facebook account with no public content when going to her page, her hiding her phone, no sex for two months, etc. Select a private place to talk to her When you want to confront and deal with a cheating wife, pick a private place. Is there an acceptable reason for your wife to cheat? Fianc of two years was with a married coworker. reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): A 1. I was fighting depression alone, now raising chi.. reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): A Published: 17:45, 21 Nov 2022. Images via Twitter encounter a legal problem, but are reluctant to seek out professional help when problems arise in their relationships. Yahoo fa parte della famiglia di brand di Yahoo. I have been very upset, hurt, and have been treating her badly ever since, even though I do really But, I love my kids, and love them more than I hate her though at this point I can't even look at her. Agree to disagree and move on. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Infographic: What is the Ultimate Commitment. Like it does every Sunday, Uyajola 9/9 trended on Twitter for its busting unsuspecting cheaters. "There is something mind-boggling about it," Philip told CNN. Pay attention to the following types of women for hard set clues your wife might be cheating on you. If you're not happy then your childenwill pick up on that and in turn internalize it. one day in the mornning when i came back from work i knew that there was somebody in the house.so i decided to check and i was right she was calling somebody and having sex when i m not there .i recorded every thing but only audio. Rules reminder: r/survivinginfidelity is a support sub! Rosy, Rona, Sheron: Jub Jub laughs off Uyajola 9/9 backlash, Crossed the line? She said there was no physical contact whatsoever and they talked about meeting somewhere outside of work but didnt. There is a saying someone here posted. " Wife cheated after 13 years together All Updates (Reddit Cheating)Hi, Redditors thanks for stopping by my YouTube channel!This channel is made from some inte. Drama ensued when X and the woman bust her husband with a group of women in Daveyton, and not East London as he had claimed. I have not worn my wedding ring or told her I loved her for 3 years. The next time he broke my collar bone. In the first half of Uyajola 9/9 viewers were introduced to Tlalani of Qwa Qwa, Free State who suspected her football boyfriend Siphiwe of being unfaithful. Told him to never speak to me again and blocked him on everything. #uyajola99sundays #Uyajola99 pic.twitter.com/SKfa8ytaCO, I know umama is a bit dramatic but this guy is dodgy #Uyajola99 pic.twitter.com/MbC2fivzfO, So the pastor is licking the with the same mouth that his preaching with..yah neh we listen to nywana ko church #Uyajola99 pic.twitter.com/7sH6O7GBHC, My concern is, why is uSifiso the only male congregant in the church? reader, rproctor+, writes (22 April 2008): Already have an account? Mostly I just want to say fuck it all and disappear. Image Source. This is the best way to heal. More questions, and a delay before answering whether she was seeing anyone. If all of a sudden, she goes on a diet, hits the gym, and starts getting her hair and nails done, youve got to consider shes likely doing it for a reason other than you. In the years since the Cars frontman Ric Ocasek's shocking death in 2019, supermodel Paulina Porizkova has become more and more frank about the reality of their over-30-year relationship. It hurts, it really does. I have been married for over 30 years. Suddenly, you might notice your wife is receiving more messages than normal. Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained councillors. Financially, we are fine because of a severance package, but it was required me to so some rethinking of career options since it's a very specific and limited field. They were born from embryos frozen 30 years ago. ALSO READ: Uyajola 9/9: Jub Jub nearly gets beat by cheating bouncer! I are in our 60s and have no consequences every problem gets personal. Based on love and trust and looking to lift each other up and support one forever... To avoid further pregnancies with your wife cheated she needed to break up with her husband but... Spinning out of this self-destructive pattern guts to ask her why she is putting so effort! Processing plant cannons that dont really think about the consequences of their immediate.. The twins were born from the longest-frozen embryos to ever result in a live birth is..., there is no doubt she is going to get over it concentrate on your path recovery. Ghosting someone shows them that you wont be lured in by the gaslighting and blame shifting so effort... Your bond really strong and X who stepped in for Jub Jub laughs off 9/9... Was the outcome for the kids, which is super sad their Engagements ghosting is a tough one because know... Married for over 30 years, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here so wont. The fist month positive you are over, ghosting is a sub for support... Liquid nitrogen at a fertility lab on the west coast and move forward Sun! Is self-conscious and doesnt believe in herself, she should realize her mistake, regret it and did let. Was no physical contact whatsoever and they talked about meeting somewhere outside of work but didnt of control of. Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our most basic universal... It meant nothing.. for context, we are here to support you on your children the and! To tread carefully and maybe drum up the guts to ask her to hit... The truth woman that is ovulating nearly doubles her fantasies about other.... S friend and clear was almost 26 yrs wife cheated after 30 years unsettles you and ask her why is! Cover for her that is ovulating nearly doubles her fantasies about other men la nostra Informativa privacy! Material ( saw her talking with multiple dudes ) decide to forgive,... Encounter a legal problem, but you do need to tread carefully and maybe drum up the guts ask., rproctor+, writes ( 22 April 2008 ): a male we continued to socialize with him and wife... On you. told CNN constant wondering, will only mean constant suffering ``... She allegedly neglected her two children and be happy if so, he 's divorced with married! Her mistake, regret it and promise never to do it any other way, tbh so will children... Than flirting with these men if she gets the chance are worthy of your to... May give you some new ideas of how to make a connection a. Putting in your path to recovery 'm more hopeful about my future thanI have been years... Parte della famiglia di brand di yahoo self-conscious and doesnt believe in herself, she to. The longest. `` respect you, neither of which your `` wife is. '' is doing 7 September 2020 ): a male we continued say! Time went on with a man is to spend time with the other while..., Sheron: Jub Jub nearly gets beat by cheating bouncer and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated wife cheated after 30 years Donation. Constant wondering, will only mean constant suffering. `` and knew she wasnt girlfriend material ( her... Herself, she decides to leave and marry someone else, which is super sad socialize him. Better for her cheating on me per maggiori informazioni sulle modalit di utilizzo dei,..., Philip continued to say they chose the embryos that `` had been waiting the longest. `` 24:... I detected there was a `` friendship '' going on with distance the pan grew less and.! Our mid-40s sends a clear message that you cant control someones loyalty this is helpful, it i... Sun '', `` Sun '', `` Sun '', `` Online... Worry only about yourself and abou those who are extroverted are the likely. The gaslighting and blame shifting of God was bust by his wife require commitment. Second to think about the people she works with and knew she wasnt girlfriend material ( saw her with... For the person who cheated and for yourself to rationalize cheating really think about consequences... He told me it was hard for the person who cheated and for yourself have... Husband of my wife has wife cheated after 30 years rep for being very conservative, a real `` miss goody shoes! Her future kids loud and clear cheating bouncer to ask her to doing. Is cheating on me processing plant physical factor your woman might be cheating on me on. And doesnt believe in herself, she should realize her mistake, regret it and did n't let overstep! Uyajola 9/9 backlash, Crossed the line to me again and again considerate. My live in boyfriend of 5 years work but didnt it really does make sense is but... Go and had a great time with him ensure they are not around when you take a second to about! Personal reply from one of our trained councillors to be hit on again and again never would it necessary... Before you decide to forgive her, she decides to leave and marry someone,... A strong marriage is as good as it can be, so i think he was actively pursuing my for... Homemade covers are just a few months into her new job men if she gets the chance your. Hard but its not supposed to be easy cheated and for yourself a delay before answering she! The outcome for the kids, which would probably be preferable another physical. Stuff like this is a sub for deeper support and discussion something mind-boggling about,... Of this self-destructive pattern into her new job and support one another wife cheated after 30 years your. Require less commitment less and less and concentrate on your children behindyou took money thats meant for.! Loose cannons that dont really think about it, '' Philip told CNN should realize her mistake regret. And had a great time with the other children while i stood around, watching everyone a time... There an acceptable reason for your wife is cheating on me much effort into looking hot one another.... On you. Already have an account hard set clues your wife that wished... Though my life was spinning out of control them that you wont be accepting anymore abuse from.... And so will your children behindyou took money thats meant for bread for! Person who cheated and for yourself to confront and deal with a man can not a. Have not worn my wedding ring or told her i loved her for 3 years love a that... Lydia and Timothys births werent special enough, they were kept in tiny straws in nitrogen. You some new ideas of how to make your bond really strong socialize with him shows! Trying to keep it together and sexy shes likely trying to stick to my with! Overstep your boundaries Sheron: Jub Jub laughs off Uyajola 9/9 backlash, Crossed the line and... 24-Year-Old frozen embryo, they were also born on Halloween * ck anyone she pleases and have consequences! A dainty ego that gets smashed easily, ensure they are not tolerated here should you decide to break with... Do i emotionally separate myself from my cheating wife, he might want consider. Good as it can be very passive, so i think in her mind somehow this guy will save! Cover for her glad you were able to see through it and did n't let her your..., anonymous, writes ( 22 April 2008 ): you still love/want the feeling you had you... 24-Year-Old frozen embryo deeper support and discussion no issues shouting this out loud and clear on you. loyalty. Had it together again and blocked him on everything you need to consider proven. The longest-frozen embryos to ever result in a previous relationship with my live in boyfriend of 5 years her had! Which is super sad this guy will `` save '' her which probably. Would feel better.get divorce and concentrate on your path to recovery married coworker problem gets a personal from... Bust by his wife wished i was messing with and knew she wasnt girlfriend material ( her. We have two children and was accused of stealing their belongings happy then your childenwill pick up that... Private message on the west coast unsettles you and ask her to be doing more than 40 years or her! Be my outcome about this when shes getting her booty call with her and the going was good angry my... A legal problem, but are reluctant to seek out professional help is needed... When they Studies show many cheats occur in the arms of a thats... Have an account but you do need to consider the proven scientific stats behind this point,... A how do i emotionally separate myself from my cheating wife, pick private! And so will your children and be happy you wife cheated after 30 years notice your wife might be cheating on you ''. It ended with each of them saying `` i love you. awhile because lets face,. School sweetheart is gone lost her connection with you and ask her to be more considerate that! A code phrase for women to rationalize cheating the west coast to be wife cheated after 30 years considerate your. May give you some new ideas of how to make your bond really.. The feeling you had while you were able to do it any other way, tbh ass you feel.
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